I want to write about my morning with God for this first post. It seemed ordinary because everything is anticlimactic at 6 am, but as the day progresses I am getting more and more excited about it.
At 5:55 AM I was stirred from my sleep by God. I know that seems presumptuous to say that it was God that woke me up, but I haven't used an alarm clock more than 3 times in the last year. I just let Him wake me at the right time. Often times this has led to him waking me up way earlier than I would choose to and my being prodded by the spirit to go downstairs and watch the sunrise with Him. This all sounds romantic unless you're the one getting up while it is still dark.
This morning started the same as the others, with me wrapped in a cranberry colored down-blanket in the middle of the stairs, watching the horizon become visible as it turned from black to blue. I had my same wavering attitude of appreciation for beauty and complete annoyance at being awake. I wish I appreciated those times with Him more.
Because I got there sooo early it seemed like a lifetime before the first light would show. Black turned to blue, then lighter blue, then yellow, then orange that is supposed to quickly melt into those first rays. This morning they were not coming, it could possibly have been the slowest sunrise in the history of mankind and I got so impatient. Typically I go back and lay down after the sun is actually up. So despite a sense that I needed to wait for first light I wanted so badly to crawl back into bed and even said aloud,
"The sun will never come up, I am just going to go back to sleep."
My whole family was asleep so I don't know what posessed me to say that out loud. A heavy silence fell around me and I knew God heard something different when I said that...
"The SON will never come, I am just going to go back to sleep."
God began to unravel that thought in my mind, that really is my attitude right now. Jesus coming to earth on the clouds seems like a fantasy, something entirely far from my everyday reality. There's no urgency in my faith. I am asleep.
If I knew without a doubt, truly believed I was going to see him like a thief in the night then wouldn't sin seem like it was not even an option anymore? I wouldn't want to be caught in that act when my true love came to save me. Wouldn't I love that family that doesn't know him like there was now tomorrow? (literally). I would pursue God much more fervently and build our intimacy since we would be living together shortly.
Instead I live asleep. I say I believe in God, that I love God. But is God a concept and idea to me? or a PERSON?A person who happens to be the creator of the universe. How does that effect my actions? I want to stop blowing my family off when I am in a bad mood . I want to stop letting the smallest excuses be enough to get me to sin. I want to get off facebook and get into my word to pursue him with all my heart, body and soul.
Is the King coming on the clouds reality to us as American Christians? Do we pray he will come soon? Do our actions reflect that we believe he is coming?
"Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8All these are the beginning of birth pains." Matthew 24:7 (NIV)
All of these countries know
that the end is near first hand...
What will it take to get us
for the thief in the night,
for our lamps to be constantly
filled with oil,
for us to be caught in
acts of love
at the end of the age?