I really want to write about more uplifting things then I have been, but God has been talking to me a lot about end times.
In one sense obviously the end is BRILLIANTLY UPLIFTING. Heaven, being with my creator, all sickness and sorrow gone. Beauty like I have never known.
However, sometimes I get more caught up in the scary parts, the thoughts of friends and family who do not know Jesus, and my heart breaks. Famines, earthquakes (that part already seems to be here), and of course...persecution. That dreaded word that Americans use so easily when a high school girl gives them a bad look for wearing a NOTW shirt or someone calls them lame for going to church. Don't count me out of that, I hate being rejected, looked at wrong, or put down for loving Jesus. But the persecution that will come at the end of days scares the crap out of me because it is much heavier; beatings, jail, and even death for Jesus' name. I do not have Pauls mindset yet of rejoicing over these thoughts, but I want to.
There is a mystery I have not yet unraveled in which the Lord makes the worst hardships in His name the most beautiful things in life. The only thing I know for sure is that our God is famous for turning the bad into good, the ugly into beautiful, the sinful into righteous, the bloody into snow. He turned the suffering of the cross into eternal life for us all, he turned Mary the prostitute into one of the most beautiful women in history, he turned Saul the murderer into Paul the saint, He turned an insecure messed up me into a woman fully in love with Him. Yes, only He can take our days that are like a pit of mud and turn them into an adventure of joyous mudslinging with friends.
When I heard it, my stomach did flips.
I stammered and stuttered.
My bones turned to water.
I staggered and stumbled.
I sit back and wait for Doomsday...
(v.17 taken out)
I'm singing joyful praise to God.
I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God.
Counting on God's Rule to prevail,
I take heart and gain strength.
I run like a deer.
I feel like I'm king of the mountain!
Habukkak 3:16-19 (MSG)
I don't usually use The Message but I love this last image of turning cartwheels in the face of bad news because you are counting on God's rule to prevail. When God's Rule prevails we know there will be peace, love, joy, and grace.
I had a dream a few nights ago that I was driving into my neighborhood at night and my battery was dying. I flicked my lights on and off because they were going dim and that offended the driver in front of me. A huge man stuck his head out of the window with three of his fingers extended at me because I had flashed him three times, he flipped a U-turn on a side street and began to follow me. As I approached my house my battery completely died and I was forced out into the dark trying to find my way home, running from my enemy.
In God dreams a lot of times vehicles can be ministries, so a car would be my own personal walk with the Lord. It is dark outside and I can feel my light from the Lord going out as I drown in fear instead of looking to Him. The enemy sees this and begins to follow me. Eventually my battery will die when I am so close to home. I will get lost and consumed in the darkness... I believe it was a warning to be filled up again, to stay salty, to remember each day that I need the word, the bread of life, I need to listen to the spirit and commune with the only living God.
So today instead of fearing the future, instead of cowering at tomorow, I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be like a child at his feet, in the power of the spirit I will throw mud up in the air, roll in the leaves, turn cartwheels because no matter what the enemy brings, no matter what darkness lies ahead, I am "counting on God's rule to prevail."