Saturday, March 30, 2013

Accomplishment-fed Rest.

Walking out in the sun today, Holy Spirit soul-whisper rolled through me. Reminded me that the accomplishment-fed rest that settles me in bed at night, is not all there is. That swift movement and lots of check marks on my list, meant nothing if I hath not love.

I move through life so internalized on getting things done that when phone rings, Mom, I half-hover over ignore, before a tired half
and grumble
‘the middle of something,’
 get back to sluggery of online glow job ads. Let Pinterest trickle through every 5 minutes or so as that ‘there’s still bright in life’ relief.

I farm more than just online—there’s gym, date, read, write, eat right, play, pay, pray, relax, God time, time with family, me time, going out time, look at the time time, forget the time time, instagram time—

When my day is checklisted and all to-dos, what life is there left in me but “I got a lot done today” (practically dead) sleep.

No, that whisper yelled—

                                                            It’s not about how much you get done—
                                                            but how you do it.

And while we’re at it…
                                                            Destiny isn’t what you accomplish
                                                            But who you are.

Is not the laughing farmers wife with muddied, glee-eyed kids greater in destiny than the full-pursed, Armani suit, with cinder eyes? Or even the serious, downtrodden missionary with no joy left for those he would save?

It’s scary, this slowing. This unbearable lightness of just—being. The slow soul that sees dappled green light leaves, the rib cage that opens enough to listen—the relationships that pipe fresh when you do…and all the hope that beauty floods. All piling up on that shambled roof called fear of disappointment, almost making it crumble. Under the weight, fear whimpers, ‘all will let down.’ Too heavy, the glory. So we hide. Again.

Get out the magazine, distract, list out all we desire. Our veil hanging by a thread, lace up our feet, all ready to complete more things when

Some sunset, some stream’s quiet babbling charm, some arm, some ‘Daddy, up!’, some God-vision, some book, some poem, some dream, all SCREAM…WAKE! UP!

“Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.”
Isaiah 60:5

He is doing something majestic in the earth and I want to see it, to really see it. Not just do it, like I have to make a grade, but drink in His glory with my soul and breathe awe at this human life.

Because it is not necessarily about how much you get done, but how you do it.

Remember who you are, be engaged. That your light may be seen bright and not shuffled behind the busyness of this world.

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,

    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,   
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
“Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you”
Isaiah 60:1-4

Love, Natalie