Whitman and fish.

This morning I had time to sit and eat breakfast outside. I prayed a little but mostly just sat and felt like a child looking out at the trees and unending sky. Below my deck we have a little pond with koi in it. Today they were magical and splendid. They were fleeting dashes of color, full of wonder and dreams.

"And the fish suspended themselves so curiously below there- and the beautiful curious/ liquid,/ and the water-plants with their graceful flat heads- all became part of him."

-Walt Whitman "There Was a Child Went Forth"

I dare you to look at the world like a child today...

Champagne Pear cupcakes.

Is there really anything better than a glass of cool champagne in summertime?

(these cupcakes are not better than a glass of champagne but they go nicely with one)

ingredients.

1.5 cups of flour

1 tsp baking soda

pinch of salt

1 stick of butta

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla

2 ripe pears pureed

1/2 cup champagne

1 flute for drinking.

Preheat at 350

sift dry ingredients in one bowl.

in another beat butter and sugar together

add eggs one at a time

mix in dry mix alternating with champagne and vanilla

add pear mix last, making sure the batter is not drippy pancake goop.

16-18min to golden perfection

ice with vanilla frosting.

ta-da.

Happy Birthday to my nephew Corban.

One year ago today my beautiful nephew Corban was born and also went home to be with the Lord. He was absolutely the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Today I want to post the letter I wrote for him and read at his funeral. I believe the Lord gave it to me.

My dearest nephew Corban,

You have never met me; I am your aunty Nata. Even though we have never met my sweet little boy I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do. I remember the day your beautiful mommy called me; I was the first one to know you were alive besides your daddy. I was in San Francisco with Nathan when your mommy called and we screamed and danced around the room for what seemed like hours, tears of joy poured out of my eyes. We had waited for you for 3 years! Even before I knew you were here I bought you little boots from Italy.

I hope that even when you were so little you could somehow hear or feel or know the love that has surrounded you since your first moment of existence. Your Daddy had been so anxious for you to be here and never stopped talking about how much he wanted you. From that phone call on every Thursday the whole family and the church that loved you too would ask what size you were. First you were just a tiny dot but soon strong boy you were a grain of rice, a blueberry, a peach, softball, a honeydew melon, and stronger and bigger you got. We watched mommy’s stomach grow knowing that God was forming the most wonderful man inside of her.

At first, I’ll be honest; I thought you were a girl. I’m sorry! But before the doctor told us God gave me peace that you were a boy and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Who were you going to become? What gifts and quirks was God weaving into your heart? My heart dwelled on you day and night. I think Mommy’s favorite times with you were spent with Abba. Every morning she read you the bible, she prayed for you and with you. Baby boy you have been prayed for more than anyone I have ever met. So many hopes and dreams were prayed into your life. You are so special and cared for, you would have to be coming from the two best parents anyone could ask for.

It is very hard to know that I will never get to baby-sit you or throw a big first birthday for you with Mommy, it is very painful to know that your perfect little spirit is not matched by a perfect little body. But how blessed I am to have seen your beautiful face that long night at the hospital. Yes my precious one many tears of love have been cried for you. Your Mommy and Daddy love you so much and they don’t want to say goodbye. Everyone wants to hold you and play with you! Little man there is one who loves you even more than Mommy and Daddy; can you believe that? He is your Abba, your Daddy in heaven; he is your best friend, your king, and your savior. Little one you get to be with him right away. Your life here on earth has already been hard, and we are so sorry that you ever had to have anything less than the best. But now you can run, play, jump, hug, learn; you get to be the man God has created you to be, fulfill an amazing purpose in heaven, and live in the unbroken and perfect relationship with your Abba that all of us down here crave. May you be blessed and loved beyond measure baby boy. We are all in a hurry to get where you are so that you and Abba can show us the ropes of perfect beauty, purpose, love, and relationship.

You are loved little one. Forever and ever and I am anxious to hold your perfect little hand.

Your aunty

Nata