One Great Thing.

So pretty much everyone I love in the world left today or is leaving tomorrow to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip called 1 great thing. I love them all so much and this blog is simply a prayer request. Please pray that God shakes lives, shows up in big ways, works miracles, brings light to the DR and brings everyone home safely.

One Great thing is a collaborative missions EXPERIENCE that combines training, worship, and service (head, heart, hands). The trip is for twenty-somethings who want to do something great but find themselves sitting on the beach all summer long. Ghandi said

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

That is the big difference with 1GT, you don't just do the change, you become the change you wish to see in the world. I went last year and nothing has been the same since... my team is my family now and I feel like a completely different person. God moves in mighty ways and I expect to hear even bigger stories this year. PRAY FAMILY!

for more info visit: http://1greatthing.org/

Love Lessons.

So I know this is sounds cheesy, but this blog was inspired by a country song.

I was driving down the 215 and this song came one the radio. I'm a sucker for country and started crying, but I wasn't crying for the normal reason. The Lord was ministering to me through this crappy song.

If you want a brick home in a school zone

With the doors locked and alarms on

Girl, you’re way off track

I’m a little more country than that

I just want to make sure you know just who you’re getting under this old hat

Cause girl I’m not the kind to two time or play games behind your back

I’m a little more country than that

Yeah, I’m sure that you’ve heard those three words from Others

But they fell flat

But this ring ain’t some thing that I mean to give you

And then take back

I’m a little more country than that

My dating life has held a pretty steady pattern since I was 15. A very unhealthy pattern, sorry if you are an ex of mine reading this. I tend to wait a long time to date guys until they are wrapped around my little finger. I like to make sure I am in control... deep down I am really afraid of trusting someone enough to let them take care of me. Therefore I create situations in which I direct the relationship's course, no matter how manipulative I have to be, so that I am not vulnerable to being hurt, or someone really seeing me.

As I listened to this song I realized that this man really knew who he was. He was letting this girl know just what she was getting into. I want that, but I am afraid of that. That's when Pride and Prejudice entered my mind. (I know I am being a cheeseball this entire blog). But think about Jane and Darcy's romance. They are both very sure of who they are, neither one of them thinks they can change the other. And sure, this causes tension in the beginning but fireworks at the end.

God showed me that my dating life did not just apply to boys, but the Creator of the universe. I try to manipulate Him, control Him, direct our relationship's course. I exaggerate or manufacture emotions in prayer so that he will forgive me more easily, love me more, and bless me more.

What I am not realizing in my heart is the solidity of who God is. His unshakeable, unchangeable, unfathomable character. HE is and was and always will be the same. No matter what I do, He is going to act in His will. This may cause tension in the beginning, but like Mr. Darcy and Jane...fireworks in the end. I NEED a rock, shelter, and firm ground to stand on.

That is where the WORD comes in. I think it is time to stop reading to make my life easier, and to start reading to get to know my PaPa better. Because the truth is I don't have to manufacture anything. He already wants to bless me, has already forgiven me, and is madly in love with me just the way I am. I want to know just what I'm getting under his old...Yamaka? Fedora? I don't know what kind of hat God would wear...I don't think He would choose a cowboy hat though.

Thank you Lord for always drawing me nearer and nearer to Your heart, I am forever in awe of YOUR unending love.

joy in the small things.

I have 3 HUGE essays due this week, 2 oral presentations, 25 hours scheduled at work, all my regular homework, and 5 finals next week to study for. So I am a tad stressed.

But...the good news is that when I spit out the foamy stuff that exists after you brush your teeth

it looked exactly like a baby bunny in my sink. 2 big bubble eyes, a little bubble nose, fluffy spitty body and 2 little ears..

JOY in the little things. lol

Summers here: Orange Zesty Cupcakes have arrived.

I came home last week to 3 huge baskets full of oranges and grapefruits. That means it is summer in my house. It is so nice to have fresh squeezed orange juice in the morning, and when you are baking orange cupcakes.

BTW-- Sorry for the poor quality photos, I took them with my phone.

cupcakes:

pre-heat oven at 350

mix ingredients of bowl 1:

2 cups of flour

2 1/2 tsp of baking powder

1/2 tsp of salt

stir the ingredients of bowl 2:

3 tbsp veggie oil

4 tbsp fresh orange juice

3 tsp fine orange zest

In bowl 3:

beat 1.5 cups of sugar with 14 tbsp butter

beat in 2 eggs, 1 at a time.

beat in bowl 1 alternating with bowl 2

bake for 18-20 min (should be somewhere between the consistency of cake and pound cake)

orange glaze:

2 cups powdered sugar

5 tbsp fresh orange juice

2 tsp orange zest

happy summer...

Bird's bashed head.

Yesterday, I sat at the window after hearing a bang against the glass. A small brown bird lay on my welcome mat. Neck twisted to the left, slight spasm of the wings, eyes closed.

I freaked out, called my mom into the room, asked my step-dad to put the dogs away (Yes, my evil dogs eat poor little birdies from time to time).

I sat by the window that overlooks my deck for 40 minutes. The bird had small white eyelashes and a chest that looked like leopard fur... or those brown spotted seashells I had on my shelf as a child.

The chest was still ebbing and flowing. That gave me hope while I prayed for my little winged friend. Is it sacrilegious to pray for a bird?

Eventually she sat up with her wings tucked tightly in, after ten minutes her legs gained strength and let her stand. Her wings shook and her feathers puffed out, she put on a few pounds in appearance. I thought for sure she was almost ready to fly. However she tucked her wings back again and closed her eyes at the pain of effort.

She began to look around, alert for once. She moved her legs a bit and the shock wore off.

Without warning,

She burst into flight.

This weekend I felt so much pressure to take off in flight. I watched my sister and her beautiful friends graduate from college, hold there boyfriend's hands, and talk about their plans. I felt very single, very lost without a set plan, and just plain LAME.

God whispered gently to me that I was that bird. So many changes have occurred this year.

I feel a bit like I just ran into a window.

He is standing right next to me, praying for me, he has put the enemy away so that he will not harm me.

He has given me assurance that it is okay to rest. I can sit still with my savior as he prays over me, comforts me, encourages me. I am making sure my legs still work, my wings still spread, my head is on straight. And then without warning I will

burst into flight.

Zaccheus.

Last night I got off work at 9, drove home and plopped onto our white leather couch to watch TV with my parents. The news was on and a man was shown making his last remarks to a prisoner who had been convicted of raping and murdering his 12 yr old daughter.

"I pray every night that God shows no mercy to you," the daddy said to a man in an orange jumpsuit, both had tears running down their faces.

"Oh my gosh that is wrong," I said.

"An eye for an eye, isn't that what the bible says?" my step-dad replied.

"In old testament law, yes, but thats exactly why jesus came, so it wouldn't be that way," I replied.

My heart sank...

Of course I can absolutely never understand what that dad was feeling in that moment, I'm sure that my dad would say the same thing. However, I know it is NOT of God and it hurts my heart so much that everyone who heard him say that associates that attitude with God now.

I woke up late today and sat outside. I read my bible with a carrot, banana & blackberry smoothie in a clear glass, it was warm and breezy. I opened up to a random page and read Luke 19:1-10

He entered Jericho and was passing through.

And there was a man called by the name of Zaccheus; he was a chief tax collector and he was rich.

Zaccheus was trying to see who Jesus was, and was unable because of the crowd, for he was small in stature.

So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass through that way.

When Jesus came to the place, He looked up and said to him, "Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house."

And he hurried and came down and received Him gladly.

When they saw it, they all began to grumble, saying, "He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner."

Zaccheus stopped and said to the Lord, "Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much."

And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he, too, is a son of Abraham.

For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

I began to cry. The holy spirit began to speak to me about this kind of love. Jesus, the only sinless man, looks at this sinful crook and doesn't just say "you are forgiven sinner" or "I love EVEN you" he asks to stay in his home... a great sign of honor in Jewish culture. Because of this KINDNESS and love, because of this RESPECT and friendship, Zaccheus, out of his own free will, gives his money away and rights his wrongs... and gains salvation.

Jesus does not side with the crowd that calls this man a sinner, he calls him a son of Abraham, a son of the promises of God, someone created in God's image for HIS purpose.

"Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes."

On Mother's Day Sunday my pastor's (Brad Curry) mom was listening to him teach for the first time, she is Jewish and lives in Chicago. He didn't get up and yell about how Jesus IS the messiah or talk about how Jesus is the ONLY way into heaven or do anything to convince her of this. He simply honored her. He said that he had learned so much about God's character from his mom. He shared a story about how she showed unconditional love to his brother when he was addicted to drugs. He loved her.

NOTHING proclaims the gospel more than seeing the beauty in unbelievers. We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God, yes. But we were also ALL created in HIS image and that makes us precious and beautiful. If my sister would have looked at me while I was drunk 5 nights a week, smoking pot, and hooking up with guys and said "you are a sinner and need to straighten out your life, you are a mess, what is wrong with you?" I would have sunk into my depression even more. Instead she loved me again and again and again when I was doing some very UGLY things, she saw the beauty in me. She saw the God in me. She saw another worshipper of God in me.

This is a call for Christians to reach out to those in society that people grumble at and say they are not worthy of love, to love our enemies as ourselves, to surround ourselves with people our flesh would not normally respect and let the spirit guide us into loving them deeply.

Do I know that I could love my child's murderer? yes. Not at all on my own, anger wells inside me even at the thought. But I trust that the holy spirit's power would give me that kind of forgiveness and love, to pray for that man. A man who murdered, like paul. A man who murdered, like me when my sins nailed Jesus to the cross.

I want to love Joseph Kony, the man who leads the rebels in Africa who abduct all the child soldiers.

I want to love the men who abduct girls into sex trafficking.

Can you forgive and honor that dad who beat you as a child?

Can you not just reach out in pity, but befriend the guy who lives on the corner as a brother?

I want to see ALL people as PEOPLE....and not just love them out of pity or duty, but with respect and dignity and honor and true love and friendship for the Glory of Jesus Christ, forever and ever amen.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (rom 5:8)

how much clearer does the gospel get?

ditch class and do a writing exercise.

After staying up until 6am writing about Shakespeare's use of the second person pronoun and irregular blank verse....I really couldn't bear to sit through that class today. Instead my friend Jon and I sat under a big tree in the grass quad and wrote team poetry. One line from me, one from him. Usually these turn out pretty poorly, but I actually kind of like these, as unpolished as they are.

Together

tiny green spades and sporadic spears

its better out here

the milk white walls

cloud what is outside

their lactose drips down my throat

and chokes any chance of explaining

I pluck a spade, its root is milk white

warm when the wind stops, better in movement

instinctively I turn leaves to floral curtains

easier to simply be

still, but I sew the earth's hair

my hands feel the evidence

the veins, the DNA, the sinews

life right in front of me, all around

My ear is on the fleshy dirt, I hear beating

Once intimidating, now telling me secrets

I let two sprigs twist seductively in my hand

busy and alive

grass taught me to listen, God's voice and distant birds,

No need to rush, but merely listen

I sink into the fabric roots

and find I too, am growing

Jon

its better out here

cloud what is outside

and chokes any chance of explaining

warm when the wind stops, better in movement

easier to simply be

my hands feel the evidence

life right in front of me, all around

Once intimidating, now telling me secrets

busy and alive

No need to rush, but merely listen

and find I too, am growing

Me

tiny green spades and sporadic spears

the milk white walls

their lactose drips down my throat

I pluck a spade, its root is milk white

instinctively I turn leaves to floral curtains

still, but I sew the earth's hair

the veins, the DNA, the sinews

My ear is on the fleshy dirt, I hear beating

I let two sprigs twist seductively in my hand

grass taught me to listen, God's voice and distant birds,

I sink into the fabric roots

------------------shorter exercise...not as fun--------------

Together

Bark, a thousand pieces

an apple, my apple, eroding in a bag

counting by numbers, making a picture

first the skin of your heel, then my shoelace

building it out of green and blue and twigs

a nest, and I had a sip of your sprite

spilled out, ready to be standing

but my sweater is already sprawled out in the grass

like a child

Jon

Bark, a thousand pieces

counting by numbers, making a picture

building it out of green and blue and twigs

spilled out, ready to be standing

Me

an apple, my apple, eroding in a bag

first the skin of your heel, then my shoelace

a nest, and I had a sip of your sprite

but my sweater is already sprawled out in the grass

like a child