the second law of thermodynamics and your life.

Here is a random thought I had in science class this summer:

ENTROPY: A MEASURE OF THE DISORDER IN A SYSTEM

LOW ENTROPY = HIGHLY ORDERED 

HIGH ENTROPY = VERY DISORDERED OR MESSY

SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS: 

IN ANY CLOSED SYSTEM (MEANING THAT NOTHING ENTERS OR LEAVES), NO PROCESS CAN OCCUR IN WHICH THE SYSTEM'S ENTROPY DECREASES.  IN OTHER WORDS, A CLOSED SYSTEM CAN'T BECOME MORE ORDERED (LESS MESSY) AS TIME GOES ON.

THEREFORE, THE AMOUNT OF DISORDER IN A CLOSED SYSTEM EITHER INCREASES WITH TIME OR IT DOESN’T CHANGE WITH TIME.  USUALLY, THE ENTROPY INCREASES WITH TIME, IN OTHER WORDS, A CLOSED SYSTEM GETS MESSIER AS TIME GOES ON.

In order to have growth and order in our lives we need to accept help from God and His body. When times get tough we cannot become closed systems that hide away from the world...if we do we will never grow and will become more disorderly by the day.




let us cast our cares on Him for he cares for us and His greatest desire is to see his children free from all the woes that he saved us from on the cross. Be transparent with our Abba and gain new strength from Him, be transparent with the church so that you can get advice, wisdom, and love when you need it and give life when others need it. My prayer is that the church would always be an open system...always gaining new energy from each other and God, casting all of our troubles on HIS shoulders, because He is infinitely able to handle it. That everyday we would grow in strength and order and grace.


Cast your cares on the LORD
       and he will sustain you;
       he will never let the righteous fall. psalm 55:22

Whitman and fish.

This morning I had time to sit and eat breakfast outside. I prayed a little but mostly just sat and felt like a child looking out at the trees and unending sky. Below my deck we have a little pond with koi in it. Today they were magical and splendid. They were fleeting dashes of color, full of wonder and dreams.

"And the fish suspended themselves so curiously below there- and the beautiful curious/ liquid,/ and the water-plants with their graceful flat heads- all became part of him."

-Walt Whitman "There Was a Child Went Forth"

I dare you to look at the world like a child today...

Champagne Pear cupcakes.

Is there really anything better than a glass of cool champagne in summertime?

(these cupcakes are not better than a glass of champagne but they go nicely with one)

ingredients.

1.5 cups of flour

1 tsp baking soda

pinch of salt

1 stick of butta

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla

2 ripe pears pureed

1/2 cup champagne

1 flute for drinking.

Preheat at 350

sift dry ingredients in one bowl.

in another beat butter and sugar together

add eggs one at a time

mix in dry mix alternating with champagne and vanilla

add pear mix last, making sure the batter is not drippy pancake goop.

16-18min to golden perfection

ice with vanilla frosting.

ta-da.

Happy Birthday to my nephew Corban.

One year ago today my beautiful nephew Corban was born and also went home to be with the Lord. He was absolutely the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Today I want to post the letter I wrote for him and read at his funeral. I believe the Lord gave it to me.

My dearest nephew Corban,

You have never met me; I am your aunty Nata. Even though we have never met my sweet little boy I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do. I remember the day your beautiful mommy called me; I was the first one to know you were alive besides your daddy. I was in San Francisco with Nathan when your mommy called and we screamed and danced around the room for what seemed like hours, tears of joy poured out of my eyes. We had waited for you for 3 years! Even before I knew you were here I bought you little boots from Italy.

I hope that even when you were so little you could somehow hear or feel or know the love that has surrounded you since your first moment of existence. Your Daddy had been so anxious for you to be here and never stopped talking about how much he wanted you. From that phone call on every Thursday the whole family and the church that loved you too would ask what size you were. First you were just a tiny dot but soon strong boy you were a grain of rice, a blueberry, a peach, softball, a honeydew melon, and stronger and bigger you got. We watched mommy’s stomach grow knowing that God was forming the most wonderful man inside of her.

At first, I’ll be honest; I thought you were a girl. I’m sorry! But before the doctor told us God gave me peace that you were a boy and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Who were you going to become? What gifts and quirks was God weaving into your heart? My heart dwelled on you day and night. I think Mommy’s favorite times with you were spent with Abba. Every morning she read you the bible, she prayed for you and with you. Baby boy you have been prayed for more than anyone I have ever met. So many hopes and dreams were prayed into your life. You are so special and cared for, you would have to be coming from the two best parents anyone could ask for.

It is very hard to know that I will never get to baby-sit you or throw a big first birthday for you with Mommy, it is very painful to know that your perfect little spirit is not matched by a perfect little body. But how blessed I am to have seen your beautiful face that long night at the hospital. Yes my precious one many tears of love have been cried for you. Your Mommy and Daddy love you so much and they don’t want to say goodbye. Everyone wants to hold you and play with you! Little man there is one who loves you even more than Mommy and Daddy; can you believe that? He is your Abba, your Daddy in heaven; he is your best friend, your king, and your savior. Little one you get to be with him right away. Your life here on earth has already been hard, and we are so sorry that you ever had to have anything less than the best. But now you can run, play, jump, hug, learn; you get to be the man God has created you to be, fulfill an amazing purpose in heaven, and live in the unbroken and perfect relationship with your Abba that all of us down here crave. May you be blessed and loved beyond measure baby boy. We are all in a hurry to get where you are so that you and Abba can show us the ropes of perfect beauty, purpose, love, and relationship.

You are loved little one. Forever and ever and I am anxious to hold your perfect little hand.

Your aunty

Nata

mind cage.

Yesterday I had a lovely conversation with my friend Gracie. We were in my swimming pool in 107 degree weather. She was telling me about her trip to the Dominican Republic and all the miracles God had worked in her. I won't go into details here, for they are not mine to share. But she led me to realize something about myself.

We stayed in the pool as the sun was covered in thick gray clouds and the air was thickened with the smell of summer storms; a mix of fire and heavy dew. I realized that in social circumstances I get wrapped up in my thoughts, anxious about being loved by my friends, and what to say. In my time with God I am consumed with trying to picture exactly who He is and getting my heart in the right spot to meet him, making sure I read, journal and pray for others. I feel it is impossible for me to be present in moments that should be beautiful because I am caged in my own mind.

I know that seems a tad dramatic and easy to fix. I am sure everyone experiences this to some extent. However, it is truly my tormenter. The enemy turns bonfires into forest fires constantly in my thought life. Don't even get me started on my emotional life.

Victory:

However, last night Antioch had a prayer and worship night. As I was singing I was again enveloped in my thoughts, trying with all MY strength to focus on God and stop my mind from wandering to my grocery list. Then, He showed me. I had a vision that I was standing in a dark, dirty, dilapidated shack. A dusty wooden door opened before me to an amazingly bright orb of light. I was on the threshold of dark and light, freedom and shackles.

"God, I want out! I want to live in Your light, not in the confusing and ravaging thoughts in my head," My heart cried. But I know that I am so afraid to leave my cage. It may be full of germs and lacking light, but I am comfortable in my misery and can sulk without the interference of others. Outside requires me to be vulnerable, to be present means I will have to engage in relationship with no place to retreat. No back corner of my mind to analyze and escape.

This morning I woke up with immense peace and joy that could only be of God. The door has been opened, I have stepped into His light, no part of me wants to go back despite my fear...

He gave me this verse this morning:

Isaiah 28:16-17

¹⁶ So this is what the Sovereign LORD says:
"See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation;
the one who trusts will never be dismayed.

¹⁷ I will make justice the measuring line
and righteousness the plumb line;
hail will sweep away your refuge, the lie,
and water will overflow your hiding place.

It may hurt for him to sweep away my hiding place but it is only a lie, nothing real. Surely the precious cornerstone will hold me in His arms and bring me into the glorious light of His joy an freedom.

Cultivating Charity

So do you remember the garden I posted about a few months ago? (http://treeofthefield.blogspot.com/2010/04/hip-parents.html)

Well, it is now a little farm! We have had fresh salads every night, carrots and potatoes in our pot roasts, and fresh herbs on everything! I was so blessed when my parents said that I could take the HUGE bounty of lettuce and spinach to a homeless shelter. Four giant bags later and I was ready to go. I heard Cross Winds Community in Mead Valley could use it, from a friend, loaded my car with greens, and headed out there.

I was expecting dusty roads, a big kitchen to feed the homeless, and a rough crowd. Instead, when my beautiful friend Elizabeth and I arrived at 2 in the afternoon of the fourth of July, we were welcomed by an amazingly loving woman named Vicky. She had a big white floppy hat on and took half an hour out of her busy schedule to give us a tour of the grounds, yes grounds, and tell us about their ministries.

Vicky and her husband Herald started Cross Winds ten years ago because they had a heart for the poverty stricken, drug inhabited, prostitution prone area. Today they feed over 300 people a day, send missionaries to Uganda, have a community garden, help families become self sufficient with their own gardens and chickens, give out clothing, offer rehabilitation classes for drug-addicts and alcoholics, visit prisoners, and house homeless men... serving roughly 6,000 people a month. They are a dynamic church who is doing so much for the community it can only be the Holy Spirit's work. Stepping onto their property feels like stepping into a mission trip in a foreign country; in the impoverished rural area they have managed to create a beautiful place for the sick and broken to rest and heal in the Holy Spirit. They are a body that is not about just donating but finding lasting solutions to poverty. Their slogan is "Cross Winds is a ministry which gets to the "ROOT" of the problem..."WHY" people develop life controlling destructive cycles...giving HOPE and LIFE to those who have given up."

I was extremely humbled by Herald and Vicky's character, with all the work they do for the Lord, they kept asking how they could help our new church, Antioch. Such amazing people that I pray the Lord will bless me with a relationship with. Cannot wait until the corn and potatoes are ready for their trip to Mead Valley!

Want to donate or volunteer?

call: (951) 657-1546

email: crosswindsperris@verizon.net

One of those refreshing "awwwhhh" mornings.

This morning I was trying to have my quiet time with the Lord and things just weren't working out. I felt restless and like I was putting in all the effort. Turns out that was the problem. I went downstairs and got some Kashi Go Lean, added some fresh blueberries and strawberries and tried to relax.

I'm on a journey right now to live as royalty, as the daughter of the KING OF KINGS. I am craving so badly to see that change in me that I am exhausting myself with my own effort to morph. Luckily, that is not how the Kingdom works.

I laid down on my bed and God showed me something: that I expect the Spirit to show up mightily at church but feel too unworthy for Him to show up strongly in my alone time with Him. So for the first time in a long time I closed my eyes and invited the Spirit to come, and He did. I felt His presence around me and His peace and joy.

I have no idea how to explain it but I felt Jesus in me today. Not in a cheesy "OH yes the Lord is my home" kind of way. But in a physical heaviness and duality of spirit kind of way. I knew he inhabited every inch of me. I know that sounds crazy but He was just reminding me that the King of the Universe lives in me. That means I have all of His authority and love and royalty and grace abiding in me at all times. He whispered "I'm not going anywhere, I'll always be here," and peace filled my heart in a crazy way.

Scripture: Ephesians 1

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, ²⁰which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²²And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

God also showed me this poem that really spoke to me about this experience, about resting and letting Him change me:

Black Swallowtail

by, Mary Oliver

The caterpillar

interesting but not exactly lovely,

humped along among the parsley leaves

eating, always eating. Then

one night it was gone and in its place

a small green confinement hung by two silk threads

on a parsley stem. I think it took nothing with it

except faith and patience. And then one morning

it expressed itself into the most beautiful thing.