Wednesday, June 30, 2010

One of those refreshing "awwwhhh" mornings.

This morning I was trying to have my quiet time with the Lord and things just weren't working out. I felt restless and like I was putting in all the effort. Turns out that was the problem. I went downstairs and got some Kashi Go Lean, added some fresh blueberries and strawberries and tried to relax.

I'm on a journey right now to live as royalty, as the daughter of the KING OF KINGS. I am craving so badly to see that change in me that I am exhausting myself with my own effort to morph. Luckily, that is not how the Kingdom works.

I laid down on my bed and God showed me something: that I expect the Spirit to show up mightily at church but feel too unworthy for Him to show up strongly in my alone time with Him. So for the first time in a long time I closed my eyes and invited the Spirit to come, and He did. I felt His presence around me and His peace and joy.

I have no idea how to explain it but I felt Jesus in me today. Not in a cheesy "OH yes the Lord is my home" kind of way. But in a physical heaviness and duality of spirit kind of way. I knew he inhabited every inch of me. I know that sounds crazy but He was just reminding me that the King of the Universe lives in me. That means I have all of His authority and love and royalty and grace abiding in me at all times. He whispered "I'm not going anywhere, I'll always be here," and peace filled my heart in a crazy way.

Scripture: Ephesians 1
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

God also showed me this poem that really spoke to me about this experience, about resting and letting Him change me:
Black Swallowtail
by, Mary Oliver

The caterpillar

interesting but not exactly lovely,

humped along among the parsley leaves

eating, always eating. Then

one night it was gone and in its place

a small green confinement hung by two silk threads

on a parsley stem. I think it took nothing with it

except faith and patience. And then one morning

it expressed itself into the most beautiful thing.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

One Great Thing.

So pretty much everyone I love in the world left today or is leaving tomorrow to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip called 1 great thing. I love them all so much and this blog is simply a prayer request. Please pray that God shakes lives, shows up in big ways, works miracles, brings light to the DR and brings everyone home safely.

One Great thing is a collaborative missions EXPERIENCE that combines training, worship, and service (head, heart, hands). The trip is for twenty-somethings who want to do something great but find themselves sitting on the beach all summer long. Ghandi said
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
That is the big difference with 1GT, you don't just do the change, you become the change you wish to see in the world. I went last year and nothing has been the same since... my team is my family now and I feel like a completely different person. God moves in mighty ways and I expect to hear even bigger stories this year. PRAY FAMILY!

for more info visit:

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Love Lessons.

So I know this is sounds cheesy, but this blog was inspired by a country song.

I was driving down the 215 and this song came one the radio. I'm a sucker for country and started crying, but I wasn't crying for the normal reason. The Lord was ministering to me through this crappy song.

If you want a brick home in a school zone
With the doors locked and alarms on
Girl, you’re way off track
I’m a little more country than that

I just want to make sure you know just who you’re getting under this old hat
Cause girl I’m not the kind to two time or play games behind your back
I’m a little more country than that
Yeah, I’m sure that you’ve heard those three words from Others
But they fell flat
But this ring ain’t some thing that I mean to give you
And then take back
I’m a little more country than that

My dating life has held a pretty steady pattern since I was 15. A very unhealthy pattern, sorry if you are an ex of mine reading this. I tend to wait a long time to date guys until they are wrapped around my little finger. I like to make sure I am in control... deep down I am really afraid of trusting someone enough to let them take care of me. Therefore I create situations in which I direct the relationship's course, no matter how manipulative I have to be, so that I am not vulnerable to being hurt, or someone really seeing me.

As I listened to this song I realized that this man really knew who he was. He was letting this girl know just what she was getting into. I want that, but I am afraid of that. That's when Pride and Prejudice entered my mind. (I know I am being a cheeseball this entire blog). But think about Jane and Darcy's romance. They are both very sure of who they are, neither one of them thinks they can change the other. And sure, this causes tension in the beginning but fireworks at the end.

God showed me that my dating life did not just apply to boys, but the Creator of the universe. I try to manipulate Him, control Him, direct our relationship's course. I exaggerate or manufacture emotions in prayer so that he will forgive me more easily, love me more, and bless me more.

What I am not realizing in my heart is the solidity of who God is. His unshakeable, unchangeable, unfathomable character. HE is and was and always will be the same. No matter what I do, He is going to act in His will. This may cause tension in the beginning, but like Mr. Darcy and Jane...fireworks in the end. I NEED a rock, shelter, and firm ground to stand on.

That is where the WORD comes in. I think it is time to stop reading to make my life easier, and to start reading to get to know my PaPa better. Because the truth is I don't have to manufacture anything. He already wants to bless me, has already forgiven me, and is madly in love with me just the way I am. I want to know just what I'm getting under his old...Yamaka? Fedora? I don't know what kind of hat God would wear...I don't think He would choose a cowboy hat though.

Thank you Lord for always drawing me nearer and nearer to Your heart, I am forever in awe of YOUR unending love.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

joy in the small things.

I have 3 HUGE essays due this week, 2 oral presentations, 25 hours scheduled at work, all my regular homework, and 5 finals next week to study for. So I am a tad stressed.

But...the good news is that when I spit out the foamy stuff that exists after you brush your teeth

it looked exactly like a baby bunny in my sink. 2 big bubble eyes, a little bubble nose, fluffy spitty body and 2 little ears..

JOY in the little things. lol

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Summers here: Orange Zesty Cupcakes have arrived.

I came home last week to 3 huge baskets full of oranges and grapefruits. That means it is summer in my house. It is so nice to have fresh squeezed orange juice in the morning, and when you are baking orange cupcakes.

BTW-- Sorry for the poor quality photos, I took them with my phone.

pre-heat oven at 350

mix ingredients of bowl 1:
2 cups of flour
2 1/2 tsp of baking powder
1/2 tsp of salt

stir the ingredients of bowl 2:
3 tbsp veggie oil
4 tbsp fresh orange juice
3 tsp fine orange zest

In bowl 3:
beat 1.5 cups of sugar with 14 tbsp butter
beat in 2 eggs, 1 at a time.
beat in bowl 1 alternating with bowl 2

bake for 18-20 min (should be somewhere between the consistency of cake and pound cake)

orange glaze:
2 cups powdered sugar
5 tbsp fresh orange juice
2 tsp orange zest

happy summer...